I've apologised already..
But i somehow just feel u've changed..
I don't know to be happy or to be sad over it..

I'm just glad that i've apologised and said my piece to u..
it feels good just releasing everything inside..

I'm really glad that u answered my qn which i typed with my itchy fingers.
It really made my week.. or maybe even make my mth..

I really can't afford to lose u.. U mean so much to me..

My exams are over.. and i did well in it..
If benben can do it.. what more shan shan?? who's smarter than benben?.. hehe..
You'll really do well in the exams..
And u'll try ur best right??.. bcoz that's what u always tell me..
U've studied and risk so much of ur sleep just to study and prepare for it..
Ur efforts will pay off this time..

All the best ok??
U'll really do well in it..
=)

Peace At Last

Things have finally ended..
The bad things of course =)

But a few things that i'm fully aware of are that i'm still upset with myself about are..

i've made u feel insecure for sure bcoz of my actions and the words that i said..
i've left a scar inside of u..
i've said really mean stuff towards u..
i'm seriously still really bothered about it..
i may pretend to be normal or happy.. but deep inside.. i feel remorse and regret.

after whatever i've said..
i seriously can't believe that u still want me back..
and u were having confidence in me..
but as of myself.. i have none inside at all..
i seriously felt like i've disappointed u..
i thought u are going to be out of my life for good..
i've even thought of letting u go..

it was totally really painful..
really really painful..
even now, after that night, u say u want to wait for me..
there is ths cloud inside.. that it's really hard to explain..
it's like the cloud of anxiety.. a cloud that is full of nth but regrets..

even tho from what i believe, u'll not be able to know of this or read this..
but i just really want to sincerely apologise to you..
and at the same time, thank you for giving me another chance..

i really wan to turn back now..

but it's already too late..

i can't afford to hurt u again..

in the end, i was the biggest fool after all..

i'm really sorry..
i seriously didn't mean to hurt u..
i'm really really speechless..

i don't desrve to be loved by u..
just let me go..

u deserve someone better..
not a guy like me.

i wanted to tell u i'm sorry..
but i seriously can't say it out..
the past week has been terrible for me..
it was dark..
totally lost..

i've lost my light..