back finally after 3 mths of MIA..


the past 3 mths was really dramatic..
a lot of things had happened..
You and I had already started school..
Been busy with out own things..


Initially i remembered when you've told me in march..
that day really hurt me a lot..
i've been thinking a lot since that day..
there were even occasions when i just wanted to give up..
and get on with my own life..
without even bothering about u anymore..
i feel that it was too cruel to me..
to have to be so far away from you..
so to ease that pain.. i must forget all about u..
but each time u were online.. and after chatting with u more..
i dont know why was it that
that thought will just disappear..
and feel that i really really want to know u alot better..


i also don't know what was in my mind during that period of time..
each time i was feeling extremely down and lonely..
i actually remembered that you are behind me,
supporting me all the way back from singapore..

have u ever thought about what was the worst thing that you can ever tell a guy..
a guy who loves u so much..
it is to find another girl..
another girl that will suit him better..
those words are just too cruel..
____________________________________


A few days ago..
when you suddenly told me that u miss me alot..
looking forward for me to return..
i really didnt expect you to say that..
the most shocking part was when u told me that
5 years later if your feelings for me doesn't change.. u will certainly choose me..
I really dont know what to say..
I am just shocked..
And we will really cherish each other..
that's what i really hope..
that night when u told me this..
i really felt a lot better in my heart..
i just didnt know what was i to feel..
but it was like in my heart..
there was one spot that was missing all these while..
but now it was filled.. =)


Last night, it was about being honest with each other..
I will be honest with you.. as long as you are honest with me..
We both do respect each other right?..
I know we do..
I remember you asked me about what is the possibility that i won't have feelings for you anymore..
i've thought about it once u asked me that question..
i asked myself.. do i really love this girl alot..
will i ever not have feelings for this girl.. is there a possibility??..
After much thought, i've answered 0.. and that was the true answer from my heart..
were u being not having confidence in me??.. or are you just testing me??..
To me, it doesnt matter.. i'll just try my best..
To be who i really am.. to support u all the way thru..


I was really shocked and extremely happy
when you told me that u've taken me seriously..
and that when u are with me, you feel extremely secure..
i hope that as long as we both cherish each other,
i'll provide u with all the security u need..
be there with u.. supporting u.. encouraging you..
provide u with all the care and concern you need..

Like what i've told you..
Each time i chat with you.. i feel extremely at ease..
Knowing that you are doing well just really make me feel that i do not need to worry.
I may worry about you a lot.. Nag at you alot..
But it's all for your own good eh.. LOL..
Who is this girl who is so special is what i always ask myself..
Who is this girl that you are willing to change so much for??..
Who is this girl who makes u feel so motivated and encouraged each time u talk to her?..
i wonder..
But one thing i know is i really love this girl alot..

At times, i dont know if feeling this way was being insecure or what..
But after this week..
I feel really great..
Knowing more about the feelings that you have towards me..
Can u tell me more about yourself??..
I bet u know me more than i know u right??..
I really miss u..